10 Questions For 'Big Mac'

So many questions swirling around inside the heads of baseball fans and media in anticipation of Mark McGwire's impending turn at the mic, which will be his first public appearance since the Debacle on Capitol Hill.

Me, I'm kinda neutral on the whole steroids issue (whatever that means). But I have come up with my own set of questions that I'm guessing probably won't get asked and definitely wouldn't elicit the most enthusiastic responses from "Big Mac."

Here's what I came up with:

• What was going through your mind when you walked into that bathroom stall with Jose Canseco and he told you to drop trow?


• Since you don't really want to talk about the past, here's a scenario for your new position as the Cardinals hitting coach: A young prospect approaches you during spring training and asks you what's the best way to add power to his swing. What the heck do you tell him?


• If you were a steroid, what kind of steroid would you be?


• Now that baseball has cracked down on steroid use, do you think bunting will make a comeback?


• How many zits a week, on average, did your wife (or girlfriend or personal trainer) pop on your back during the 1990s?


• What's the most weight you've bench-pressed?


• OK, now what's the most you've bench-pressed while not on steroids?


• Who would win in a fight between you and Barry Bonds ... when both of you are at the peak of 'roid rage?


• Along with your son and Tony La Russa, who else has been named a beneficiary in your will?


• If Lee Harvey Oswald had been on steroids, is it conceivable that he was the lone shooter?