Another Giant miscue

The San Francisco Giants have a weakness. OK, yes, they have multiple weaknesses. But for now let's talk about their soft spot for underachieving veteran hitters with overinflated salaries. It boggles the mind to see Bay Area fans and media getting excited about new Giant Mark DeRosa, who no doubt is primed to join a long list of acquisitions (either via trade or free agency) over the past 20 years in which the Giants essentially got stiffed.

Six million a year for .260, 25 HR, 75 RBI -- and that's if he has a good year -- is a waste. Travis Ishikawa could give you that for $500,000.

The following list says it all (I may have missed one or two, but no matter, they're all basically the same player):

Edgardo Alfonzo, Kevin Bass, Todd Benzinger, Gary Carter, Darnell Coles, Jose Cruz Jr., Eric Davis, Ray Durham, Steve Finley, Andres Galarraga, Ryan Garko, Marquis Grissom, Mel Hall, Tommy Herr, Glenallen Hill, Shea Hillenbrand, Ryan Klesko,, A.J. Pierzynski, Dave Roberts, Edgar Renteria, Aaron Rowand, Deion Sanders, Reggie Sanders, Benito Santiago, Cory Snyder, Darryl Strawberry, Mark Sweeney, John Vander Wal, Randy Winn.

In fairness to Brian Sabean and his front-office cohorts, the Giants recorded perhaps the single greatest acquisition in baseball history in the early 1990s (I don't really need to say who it is, do I?), and a handful of aging veterans actually did pan out during the same 20-year span the above list covers. Moises Alou, Ellis Burks, Kenny Lofton, Willie McGee, J.T. Snow and Omar Vizquel come to mind. Those guys delivered what was expected of them.

Still, the duds outweigh the gems by tons. And while the ink is still drying on the Freddy Sanchez deal, signing DeRosa does not show a shift in the pattern.

All-Decade Team: Outfielders and Pitchers

OUTFIELDERS:

• LF Barry Bonds. He was finished after the 2007 season, but in a three-year span (2001-03), Bonds did a decade's (or more) worth of damage. The most impressive aspect of Bonds' domination during those seasons was not the number or frequency of home runs, but how he managed to hit all those dingers as opposing pitchers and managers were letting him see so few strikes. Honorable mentions: Manny Ramirez, Johnny Damon, Carlos Lee.


• CF Torii Hunter. Yes, Carlos Beltran had better numbers, but Hunter was hands-down the best defender at the position for most of the decade. Plus, he exuded what we'll call, for lack of a better term, the "Jeter Effect," especially during his years in Minnesota. Honorable mentions: Beltran, Andruw Jones.


• RF Ichiro Suzuki. If not for some amazing years from one Vladimir Guerrero, this would have been no contest. As it is, Ichiro, by far the toughest out in baseball since he entered the majors in 2001, wins pretty handily. Honorable mentions: Guerrero, Bobby Abreu.

PITCHERS:

• RHP Roy Halladay. The numbers game easily goes to Halladay, and he compiled those stats with a mostly mediocre Toronto offense behind him and a so-so bullpen to pick him up. Honorable mentions: John Smoltz, Tim Hudson.


• LHP Randy Johnson. It's hard to argue against the Unit's three straight Cy Youngs to start the decade, but when it comes to consistency and reliability, CC Sabathia comes in a close second. Honorable mentions: Sabathia, Johan Santana.


• Closer Mariano Rivera. The closer role seems to be changing with each season, but the one constant has been Rivera. Honorable mention: Trevor Hoffman.

All-Decade Team: Infield

Every baseball hack in the free world is chiming in on this, so I figured what the hell ... today the infield, tomorrow the outfield and pitchers.

INFIELD

• C Jorge Posada. With due respect to Minnesota's Joe Mauer, he played only a bit longer than half the '00s. So, Posada is my pick -- for above average offensive production, being the mark of consistency, winning two titles and handling a revolving-door staff of high-priced pitchers. Not to mention doing all those things with such a storied franchise as the New York Yankees. Honorable mentions: Jason Varitek, Mauer.
• 1B Albert Pujols. A no-brainer if there ever was one. In fact, anyone who doesn't pick the Cardinals' slugger as the Player of the Decade better have a pretty convincing argument. Honorable mentions: Ryan Howard, Mark Teixeira.
• 2B Chase Utley. My inclination here was to split the pick between Jeff Kent for the first half of the decade and Utley for the second half. With a gun to my head, I'll take Utley for winning the title on '08 and doing everything in his power to win the thing in '09. Honorable mentions: Kent, Luis Castillo, Placido Polanco.
• 3B Alex Rodriguez. Criticism abounds with the highest-paid person in any profession. One thing you cannnot dispute is A-Rod's production. And let's give him a little credit for learning a new position in the name of winning. Honorable mentions: Miguel Cabrera, Chipper Jones.
• SS Derek Jeter. Another pick that would be tough to challenge. Great all-around player, true leader, consummate professional, hardly a flaw in his game or in his character. Jeter is the the type of player every owner, GM and manager dreams of starting a franchise with. Honorable mentions: Miguel Tejada, Jimmy Rollins, Omar Vizquel.

Bring Around the Posey

The Giants are being way too cautious with first-round draft pick Buster Posey. I'm hearing a lot of talk about how GM Brian Sabean and other Giants brass see Posey starting the year in the minors.

Why?

This kid is ready, and with Bengie Molina on the free-agent block, now is as good a time as any to see what the bonus baby can do as an every day, major-league starter behind the plate.

Obviously, Posey isn't ready to catch 162 games in 2010 (or even 140 for that matter). But that's where manager Bruce Bochy, a former catcher, and veteran receiver Eli Whiteside come in. Set up a schedule, pace him along, but don't coddle him.

Posey will be 23 on Opening Day. Make him the starter and make him the regular catcher. Let the kid build some confidence and develop a rapport with the club's fine young pitching staff. And let him fail, too, so he can learn from his mistakes. But don't say he's not ready.

'Lackey' and 'ace' in the same sentence? Seriously?

Well, I'm at a loss. John Lackey must have one hell of a publicist. The media is playing him up to be an ace (huh?); they're calling him one of the top right-handers in the AL over the past eight seasons; they're even pushing this guy as a No. 1 starter ahead of Josh Beckett and Jon Lester.

I'm still waiting for the punch line.

Here's what he's done to earn the five-year, $82.5 million contract Boston reportedly offered him:

• Finished 11-8 with a 3.83 ERA last season.
• Won 15 or more games in a season once (19-9 in 2007)
• Never posted a single-season ERA below 3.00 (3.01 in 2007)
• Never pitched more than three complete games in a season and has 14 career CGs in 233 starts
• Postseason numbers are mediocre at best (3-4, 4.12 ERA in 14 games)

Not to say Lackey isn't a decent pick-up -- he's a good, solid No. 3 or No. 4 guy. And maybe, under the pressure of that lofty contract, he'll surprise us with a career year. You certainly can't dispute his competitve fire.

But an ace? No. Worth $17 million a year? Not even close. Gives the Red Sox one of the most formidable rotations in the league, as one MLB writer put it? Definitely not.

Sorry, Red Sox Nation, you got swindled. Should have spent that money on that one guy ... eh, Jason somethin'... eh, oh yeah, Bay ... your All-Star left-fielder ... your best player last season. Remember him?

Whew! Good luck competing with those pesky Bombers next year. If you're placing you're bid for a title on the shoulders of John Lackey, you're going to need it.

Pick Six

Some of the 2009 Major League Baseball postseason awards should be no-brainers while others require some thought and analysis. Since I'm just some schmuck off the street, I'll make my picks off the cuff:

• AL Cy Young Award: Zack Greinke, Royals. Winning 16 games for Kansas City and posting a 2.16 ERA in the American League both are near impossibilities these days. Those accomplishments alone put him above the rest.
• NL Cy Young: Chris Carpenter, Cardinals. Of the top three contenders -- the Cards' Adam Wainwright and the Giants' Tim Lincecum being the other two -- Carpenter's ratio of baserunners-to-innings pitched was the lowest (156 hits, 38 walks in 192.2 IP). Two bonuses: the ERA title and fewer than five losses have to count for something.
• AL Manager of the Year: Ron Gardenhire, Twins. Mike Scioscia's Angels did what was expected, as did Joe Girardi's Yankees. Gardenhire had much less to work with (in terms of payroll/talent) and still managed to compete with the big boys.
• NL Manager of the Year: Jim Tracy, Rockies. Tracy took over a team that was headed for the NL West cellar and guided them to the playoffs.
• AL MVP: Derek Jeter, Yankees. Teammate Mark Teixeira had better overall numbers, and Minnesota's Joe Mauer had an incredible season, but Jeter was the epitome of an offensive catalyst for the World Series champs. It's safe to say that without him, the Yankees don't win the title, and that's the purest definition of an MVP.
• NL MVP: Albert Pujols, Cardinals. From strictly a numbers standpoint, Pujols is a runaway. And no other NL player stands out in Jeter-esque fashion.

World Series Champion New York Yankees

No, the New York Yankees did not answer the critics, as some media members are saying. They only confirmed -- for the first time in nine years, by the way -- what the critics have been saying about them all along:

• Yes, they overpaid most of their players.
• Yes, they aggressively went after coveted free agents during the offseason.
• Yes, they built a brand new stadium for an ungodly amount of money.

So, what did the Yankees do differently from 80 percent of the other clubs in the major leagues?

Nothing, except they did all those things a little better while finding a winning formula on the field. They did what they had to do to win a title. Nobody in their right mind can criticize them for that.

Congratulations, Bombers.

Yankee Haters Rejoice

OK. So the New York Yankees crumpled for one night in Philly. All the better: The Bombers get a chance to close it out at the new Yankee Stadium with Dandy Andy Pettitte on the mound against an old familiar nemesis, Pedro Martinez. They couldn't ask for a better scenario for their 27th World Series title.

Gotta tip my cup to that Chase Utley guy. Unlike his larger, more powerful peers (Yes, that means you Ryan Howard and Alex Rodriguez), the Philadelphia Phillies' scrappy, little second baseman is putting on a clutch-hitting clinic, and he's doing it with pop. Two more homers Monday night gives him a record-tying five for the series, and as hot as he is, he certainly has a legitimate shot at becoming the sole record-holder.

For their part, the Yankees shouldn't get too comfortable. We all know what happened when they let down their collective guard in the 2004 ALCS. That's the proverbial monkey on their back if there ever was one (hmmm, can I come up with any more cliches?). Anyway, it's five years past, and I still can't believe it happened.

A Core of Four

Whether or not you're a fan of the New York Yankees, it's hard to not respect and admire those four veterans with four World Series rings each and a boat load of postseason baseball records -- Derek Jeter, Andy Pettitte, Jorge Posada and Mariano Rivera.

Yes, the records are slanted a bit by the wild-card era, but these guys have done some pretty amazing things over their careers, and they've done it without making a lot of off-field noise that other celebrity athletes in the Big Apple can't seem to stay away from.

For instance:

• Since his first full season in 1996, Jeter has never had fewer than 156 hits in a single season. That total came in 2003, the year he missed 43 games because of a groin injury.
• In 15 seasons (12 with the Yankees), Pettitte has never had a losing season. His worst season in terms of winning percentage came in 2008, when he was 14-14.
• As if being a switch-hitting catcher isn't impressive enough, Posada has homered in more ballparks (25) than any player in Yankees history, according to the Elias Sports Bureau. Also, Posada's community service efforts in both New York and his native Puerto Rico are exemplary.
• Rivera has so many accomplishments and great numbers, it's hard to find something that stands out above the others. How about this: About one walk for every four strikeouts over the course of his 15-year career (1,090 innings).

Most important, these guys showed up to play every day. They prepared, focused, hustled, gave no less than 100 percent, respected the opponent and won and lost with dignity. If you want your kids to see how to be ballplayers, make sure they watch these four Yankees.

Moment of Truth for Burnett, Yankees

It's judgment night for Yankees starter A.J. Burnett. This is his chance to earn most of the $16.5 million he was paid this season. The 13-9, 4.04 he put up in the regular season doesn't quite cut it for that type of money, so he better do something special tonight -- like win.

To a degree, the same goes for A-Rod and the other high-priced sluggers in the New York lineup. Time to get busy doing what you're paid to do.

Ugh! Lee!

A star-studded Yankees lineup somehow managed to make Phillies lefty Cliff Lee look unhittable in Game 1. Derek Jeter (3-for-4) looked to be the only Yankee who understood this is a good time to step up your game.

Gotta hand it to Lee, though. He was in total control. He reduced Bombers like Johnny Damon and Mark Teixeira and Alex Rodriguez to flailing at pitches out of the strike zone, showing anxiousness and desperation rather than the patience and discipline the Yanks are known for.

Big Mac as a Hitting Coach is Tough to Swallow

Mark McGwire providing hitting instruction – something he allegedly will do for Tony La Russa and the Cardinals starting next season – would be akin to Milli Vanilli teaching the finer points of voice and song.

You think Albert Pujols is anxious to heed the infinite wisdom of a guy who hit a whopping .263 lifetime and struck out every fifth plate appearance? You think Matt Holliday or Troy Glaus will be chatting up Big Mac -- notorious for being a dead-pull hitter -- on how to drive that outside pitch the other way? You think for a second that La Russa really knows what on Earth he's doing?

The answer to all those questions is ... Ummmmm, no.

It will be interesting to see McGwire's approach to coaching as he prefaces each and every tip with his signature, "I'm not here to talk about the past."

Sorry, big guy, but the past is all you have to go on.

What Should We Call Them Now?

For a time, back in the 1970s and '80s, they were referred to as "firemen," because they were brought into the game to put out a fire and secure a victory. Today, they're called "closers," because they're expected to close the book on the game.

Slam the door.

End it.

On three glorious days of postseason baseball this weekend, a so-called closer failed to do that.

Thursday, the Cardinals' Ryan Franklin entered Game 2 against the Dodgers with one out and the bases empty in the ninth inning and proceeded to walk two batters and surrender RBI hits to, of all people, Ronnie Belliard and Mark Loretta. Dodgers take a 2-0 series lead and go on to clinch it Saturday.

Friday, Twins closer Joe Nathan entered the ninth inning with a two-run lead on the Yankees and surrendered a game-tying, two-run homer to Alex Rodriguez. The Yanks went on to win Game 2 of the Division Series in the 11th on Mark Teixeira's homer off Jose Mijares and then finished off Minnesota's year Sunday in the Metrodome's final game.

Earlier Sunday, it was Boston's Jonathan Papelbon, who against three different batters got to one strike away from closing the books on Game 3 against the Angels. He couldn't do it. A two-strike single by Erick Aybar. A full-count walk by Chone Figgins. A full-count RBI double from Bobby Abreu. An intentional walk for Torii Hunter. And, finally, a two-run single by Vladimir Guerrero. Red Sox eliminated.

Considering this sequence of events, maybe it's time we went back to calling these guys by an age-old -- yet certainly more accurate -- name: relief pitcher.

Jimmy Dugan said it best ...

A special message for Tony La Russa and the Cardinals, who are fast becoming this decade's version of the Atlanta Braves -- dominant pitching, great lineup, multiple playoff appearances, one World Series title (Yes, I know. The Yankees will be right there with them unless they win it all this year). Click here for a fine snippet of baseball movie lore.

By the way, La Russa and Bobby Cox are third and fourth, respectively, in all-time managerial wins. They have nearly 5,000 regular-season victories and dozens of postseason wins between them. Cox has managed for 28 years and has one World Series title. La Russa has two titles in 30-plus years. Cox is hanging it up after the 2010 season, no ifs, ands, buts or regrets about it. Maybe it's time La Russa walked away gracefully, too.

Cup Checks Awards: Stolen Money Leader

OK. So, anyone could make a case for 90 percent of major leaguers being overpaid. And, of course, no one in his right mind would argue against the Yankees' Alex Rodriguez ($33 million in 2009, according to USA Today's salary list) being the most overpaid player in the the game -- hell, in major league history.

But A-Rod showed up every day. And he produced (although not quite up to the standard that made him the highest-paid player in the game). Besides, those few who were underpaid (by the same standard), such as the Giants' Tim Lincecum ($650,000, 15-7, 2.48, 32 starts, 225.1 IP) and the Cardinals' Adam Wainwright ($2.8 million, 19-8, 2.63, 34 starts, 233 IP), sort of straighten the curve a bit.

No, the Stolen Money Leader award is not about those who took the field, were overpaid and put up decent numbers. It focuses on the overpaid underachievers (i.e., Milwaukee's Jason Kendall topped the list for about six straight years after signing a huge contract with Pittsburgh earlier this decade; even after a severe pay cut to $5 million/year he steals money with the best of them).

One more provision: I could have spent hours scouring the salary list in search of many a journeyman player who took home millions for little or no on-field contribution (i.e. Kendall, .241 average, 2 HRs, 43 RBIs; or the Cubs' Aaron Miles, $2.2 million for a .185, 0 HRs, 5 RBIs in 74 games; or the Cards' Mark Mulder, $7 million for missing the entire season). But, truth be told, I'm just not that into it. So, I kept the focus on the so-called cream of the crop, the Top 25 moneymakers.

Here are the candidates for Stolen Money Leader:

• Magglio Ordonez, OF, Detroit Tigers: $19 million for .310, 9 HRs, 50 RBIs in 131 games
• Carlos Beltran, OF, New York Mets: $19 million for .325, 10 HRs, 48 RBIs in 81 games
• Alfonso Soriano, OF, Chicago Cubs: $17 million for .241, 20 HRs, 55 RBIs in 117 games
• A.J. Burnett, P, New York Yankees: $16.5 million for 13 wins, 9 losses, 4.04 ERA, 33 starts, 207 innings
• Barry Zito, P, San Francisco Giants (last season's winner): $16.5 million for 10-13, 4.03 ERA, 33 starts, 192 IP
• Jason Schmidt, P, Los Angeles Dodgers: $15.3 million for 2-2, 5.60 ERA, 4 starts, 17.2 IP

After careful consideration (and with great emphasis on my bias against starting pitchers who appear in only one-third of games to begin with), I had to go with ...

Jason Schmidt, the leading money-stealer of 2009. Special mentions go to Soriano and Zito.

Win, or Go Home

Who doesn't like a one-game playoff?

OK, fine, I'll tell you: the Minnesota Twins. That's right, the Twins were the latest team to fall in a one-game playoff a year ago. Instead of heading for the postseason, they went home after a 1-0 loss to the Chicago White Sox in a winner-take-all showdown for the 2008 AL Central Division title.

And now, they're back. And maybe they'll change their own minds about what has become most baseball fans' favorite game of the regular season.

The Twins won 16 of their last 20 to force the playoff with the Detroit Tigers, who will have to visit a loud and perilous Metrodome on Tuesday. Right, so all signs are pointing to a Twins victory: home-field advantage, momentum, an extended farewell to a storied and often-ridiculed stadium.

No matter who wins, that team has been given little chance to go further, as they must get past the New York Yankees to do so. But history shows that it's not out of the question:

• The Rockies won a one-game playoff over the Padres in 2007 to claim the NL Wild Card, and went on to win the NL pennant before falling to Boston in the World Series.
• In 1999, the Mets took out the Reds in a one-gamer for the NL Wild Card and also advanced to the World Series, only to fall to the Yankees.
• And, of course, who can forget the 1978 Yankees facing a double-digit deficit in the AL East in mid-August and then chasing down the Red Sox to force a one-gamer at Fenway Park? The Bombers won it on Bucky Dent's homer, and went on to win their second consecutive World Series over the Los Angeles Dodgers.

The Twins have had some amazing runs in the past. Why not one more?

Giant Letdown?

Fans and talking heads in these parts are already yapping about what the Giants need to do for next season. The universal opinion seems to always come back to getting a "premier bat" to fill what has been a giant void in the club's lineup. But when the conversation turns to dangling one of the Giants' two young aces -- Matt Cain and Tim Lincecum -- the response is always a definitive "no way you can let either one of those guys go."

I've got news for the Giants faithful: Any team willing to give up a "premier bat" is going to want something of equal value in return. Translation: A good, young, established arm.

My first instinct is to keep the two aces and accept the fact that your "premier bat" will have to be Pablo Sandoval. Stick "The Panda" in the three hole and build your lineup around him. As amazing a rookie season he is having, he has the potential to be much better still.

As far as who stays and who goes, the most practical direction in my mind is:

• Dump Edgar Renteria and his $8 million salary; keep Juan Uribe as your everyday shortstop
• Dump Ryan Garko and give Travis Ishikawa another year to evolve
• Dump the high-priced Randy Winn and make Nate Schierholtz your everyday right fielder
• Keep Freddy Sanchez -- he'll be healthier and better next year
• Keep Aaron Rowand -- he's a hustler, a grinder and a good example for younger players to follow

So here's your 2010 Giants lineup: 1, Eugenio Velez, LF. 2, Freddy Sanchez, 2B. 3, Pablo Sandoval, 3B. 4, Juan Uribe, SS. 5, Bengie Molina, C. 6, Aaron Rowand, CF. 7, Nate Schierholtz, RF. 8, Travis Ishikawa, 1B. 9, Tim Lincecum, P.

Those who are clamoring for Jermaine Dye -- sorry, folks, he's not a "premier bat," he's on the downside of a decent career and he's just not the answer.

Miller Time Fun for Fans

The truest baseball fans revel in the type of game played in Milwaukee today. A pitcher's duel, a triple play, multiple Web Gems-worthy defensive plays, extra innings and a walk-off homer. Does it get any better? For the Brewers and their faithful, no. For the guys on the other side -- a Giants team scraping and scratching and clawing to make the postseason -- well, let's just dig out an old but very useful cliche and call it a heart-wrenching loss.

It would have been such sweet sweeping at Miller Park, where the Giants have had their share of troubles. And Colorado capitalizing with a win over Arizona made defeat even tougher.

OK, so the pain is short-lived -- for some, it may have vanished during the postgame spread, but surely for everyone it will subside today, when the Giants return home to face the lowly Padres.

Tip of the Cup. The triple play was -- literally -- a stroke of luck, but Prince Fielder's mighty cut on the game-winning homer was not. A secondary tip to Seattle's Ichiro Suzuki, who became the second youngest player to reach 2,000 hits -- mind you, this is a guy who was a 27-year-old rookie only eight years ago.

Warning: Danger ahead. The Brewers' home-plate celebration was amusing at first, but it made me think later that it's going to open up a whole new can of worms. I, for one, don't want to see baseball become a circus akin to what the NFL became some years back with its mock-boxing, Sharpie-carrying, cell phone-calling touchdown celebrations. Baseball would be wise to take caution and not let things get out of hand.

Separation Sensations

Credit the Cardinals and Phillies -- and to some extent the Yankees -- for not setting the cruise control.

As the regular season heads into the stretch run, these clubs not only retained a firm hold on their respective division leads, they also created some separation by winning key series after key series while the chasers faltered.

The Cardinals might be the most underrated club in baseball. Since late July -- after being swept by the Astros and losing two of three to Philadelphia -- the Cards haven't lost a series. That's eight series victories and one 2-game split with the Mets. And they're set up well for the postseason. Three Cardinals starters -- Adam Wainwright, Chris Carpenter and Joel Pineiro -- have 13 or more wins, and closer Ryan Franklin is doing what a closer is paid to do -- he's converted 34 of 36 save opportunities while posting a 1.07 ERA.

Meanwhile, the veteran-laden Phils and Yanks have responded to surges from the Marlins and Red Sox, respectively, with solid starting pitching and timely hitting. Neither Philly nor New York looks as though it will be shifting into neutral until the division race is settled.

Tip of the Cup. A belated tip to Giants catcher Bengie Molina for providing the best impression yet of Kirk Gibson circa 1988. With San Francisco trailing Arizona 4-1 in the eighth inning on Wednesday night, Molina, nursing a quadriceps injury, came limping up to the plate as a pinch hitter and smacked a three-run homer. An honorary doff to Giants skipper Bruce Bochy for knowing -- and playing -- the numbers, and sending Molina up there.

Speaking of cups ...

Lately, my 4-year-old son has taken to whacking me square in the junk whenever the mood strikes him (and usually when I'm least expecting it). I imagine it's much like those clips you see on Funniest Home Videos, although I can assure you that when you're the victim, laughing is not an optional reaction.

One particular incident occurred on a recent road trip when we stopped off for some Mickey Ds (my son's choice). After hours of driving, I was pretty jacked up about getting some McChicken and chocolate shake in my belly when out of nowhere, my little buddy stopped, turned and connected flush on the sack of stones. Needless to say, the pain was unbearable and instantly cured my longing for fast food (or any food).

Later that day, when the incident (not the pain) was all but forgotten, my wife casually said to me, "You need to start wearing a protective cup."

Thanks, Dear.

LOBs, RISP and a bunch of BS. The "bizarro" Yankees compiled 13 LOBs and went 0-for-9 with RISP in their 14-1 loss to Boston. The most prominent BS artist of the day was Tampa Bay's J.P. Howell with his sixth of the season (although the Rays won). Seattle's Mark Lowe also got his sixth BS, but this dude's obviously not a closer. His career line: 12 save opportunities, two saves.

Seeing Red

Red is the new black.

Several major league baseball clubs have taken a liking to the color red, much the same as they all seemed to favor black not too long ago. It's rather annoying watching some of these teams gradually work their way from small touches of red in their logo to red trim in the uniforms to full-on solid-red jerseys.

Teams with strong traditions such as the Braves, Pirates, Indians and Red Sox have resorted to pimping their product behind a color that was never intended by their creators to be primary. It's truly a sad state of affairs.

With other clubs such as the Astros and Rangers, both of which seem to have a new look every five years, we've come to expect such uniform experiments. In the case of the Arizona Diamondbacks, we may not care, but I for one am curious why they chose red when it wasn't in the mix originally. And I happened to like that sharp purple-teal-black-and-gold ensemble they entered the league with.

I suppose we should prepare ourselves for the Padres and White Sox -- two more fickle clubs inclined to make drastic changes -- to follow the red suit in the near future, although those pesky South-Siders are one team that actually did away with red to return to a more traditional -- and much better -- look.

Beantown Brawl

Kevin Youkilis' scuffle with Detroit's Rick Porcello tonight will not go down as one of the all-time great mound-charges, but it does spark some fond memories of ill-advised visits to the hill (forgive me if the details of these recollections are a bit fuzzy):

• Indians manager Pat Corrales gets (single-punch) decked by A's pitcher Dave Stewart
• Young White Sox third baseman Robin Ventura takes a skull-beating from middle-aged Rangers pitcher Nolan Ryan
• Three steps into his mound-sprint, Cincinnati's Paul Wilson gets steamrolled and pulverized by Cubs pitcher Kyle Farnsworth
• White Sox slugger George Bell swings at (and misses) Red Sox pitcher Aaron Sele a fraction of a second before getting tatooed by Boston's Mo Vaughn

Tip of the Cup. Boston's Mike Lowell, who was slated for a night off, replaced Youkilis and smacked two homers to help the Red Sox win. Abbreviated doffs to Florida's Dan Uggla (game-winning hit in 11th) and the Dodgers' Matt Kemp, whose clutch hitting the past two nights have helped silence the normally boisterous Giants' faithful.

50-50 BS. That's right. Half the save situations (five of 10) Tuesday were blown, including the seventh BS of the season by Philadelphia's Brad Lidge, who last year was 41-for-41. Here are the other four: Jesse Carlson, Blue Jays (3); David Aardsma, Mariners (3); Jeff Fulchino, Astros (2); Leo Nunez, Marlins (4).

Two For the Show

Those much-discussed offseason acquisitions by the Yankees are looking awfully smart now. A.J. Burnett (one hit allowed in 7 2/3 innings) and C.C. Sabathia (two hits allowed in 7 2/3) showed flashes of brilliance the past two nights, handcuffing the rival Red Sox and padding the Bombers' lead in the AL East.

With Andy Pettitte's seven shutout innings in the series finale tonight, the Yankees staff held a potent Boston lineup scoreless for 31 consecutive innings on the way to a crucial four-game sweep. Kudos to the Bronx bats as well for outscoring the Sox 25-8 in the series.

Tip of the Cup. Gotta hand it to the Marlins (Hanley Ramirez, 4-for-6, 3 RBI) and the Rockies (Todd Helton, 3-for-4, 2 RBI) for coming to play, the former lambasting the World Champion Phillies to stay in the NL East race and the latter clocking the Cubs to stay even with the Giants for the NL wild card lead.

Rivalry BS. Four of 10 save situations were not converted Sunday: Ryan Perry, Tigers (2); Daniel Bard, Red Sox (2); Phil Coke, Yankees (5); Matt Capps, Pirates (3).

Pennant Fever

There's still a long way to go, but we're seeing some good baseball lately. With so many teams still in contention, each game becomes more important than the last, even more so when you've got an epic Yankees-Red Sox matchup as each tries to take control of the AL East and the Cards and Cubs play see-saw with the NL Central lead or upstarts such as the Giants and Rockies (as well as several other potential contenders) go at it for the NL wild card.

Maybe it's just me, but I can't recall in the past 10 or so years a more intriguing stretch run with as many teams involved in the race. This is baseball at its best.

Tip of the Cup. Clutch hitting by Kosuke Fukudome and Derrek Lee, a solid outing from Ryan Dempster and some nifty glovework by Ryan Theriot led the Cubs over the Rockies and kept them on pace with the NL Central-leading Cardinals and the wild-card-leading Giants. Special mention to the Giants' Bengie Molina for answering the critics with his 3-for-4, three-RBI performance from the cleanup spot.

Bombers Away!

Take that, Sox Nation.

With Muhammad Ali in the house, the Yankees sent a message to the Red Sox on Thursday: Let's get it on! Then, they backed it up with an old-fashioned 13-6 thumping. But, it was the Bombers' first victory over Boston this season, and if they have any plans on delivering a knockout blow in the AL East, they're going to have to figure out how to beat the Red Sox consistently -- or at least more frequently. For now, it's a heckuva start.

Dialing the clone phone. I've been resisting this one for some time because it's a bit of a stretch. But what the heck, let's go with it. Giants ace Tim Lincecum is showing flashes of Orel Hershiser (and something tells me he once idolized the Bulldog). He's got the jersey number (55), the lean frame, the wicked stuff and even recently acquired a pet bulldog. Now, if he could only lead his ballclub to a World Series title. Stay tuned ...

Average BS. Three out of seven save situations were blown Thursday: Brian Sanches, Marlins (2); Jesse Chavez, Pirates (3); Rafael Soriano, Braves (3).

Waking Up Sleeping Giants

With Giants catcher Bengie Molina slumping, talking heads in these parts were taking issue with the club's cleanup spot (What to do? What to do?). Really, what the Giants offense has been lacking most this season is a catalyst -- someone to get on base, to get to the opposing pitcher early, to shake things up.

Enter Eugenio Velez. The second-year player has been on tear like nobody's business. After his 3-for-6 performance tonight, he's riding an 11-game hitting streak during which he's had eight multiple-hit games and is batting .448. Although he walks too infrequently for a leadoff man, his on-base percentage has been on a consistent rise. With a little work, Velez could be the answer to that catalyst problem.

Tip of the Cup. It didn't figure in the outcome of the Cardinals' extra-inning win over the Mets, but Albert Pujols' 10th-inning grand slam -- his NL record-tying fifth of the season -- is still worth a hearty tip. Special mention for the Rays' Evan Longoria, who homered twice -- once to tie it in the eighth and again to win it in the 13th -- against Boston.

Blowing in the wind. Of seven potential saves Tuesday, four floated away with the evening breeze. The culprits: Daniel Bard, Red Sox (1); John Bale, Royals (4); Kiko Calero, Marlins (2); Francisco Rodriguez, Mets (4).

In Good Company as a Lefty-Righty

All through youth baseball, high school ball and even junior college, I got some funky looks from teammates and friends when I strode up to the left side of the plate. Typically, the reaction went something like, "Wait, what the hell are you doing, Guido? I thought you were right-handed." To which I would respond with a shrug and say, "Look, this is the way I hit, OK? I don't know why, so just pitch the friggin' ball already!"

It turns out I wasn't as much of a freak as my friends thought (at least not within the confines of baseball). Some of the greatest hitters of all-time were Bats: Left-Throws: Right guys. Have a look-see:

• Ted Williams. Hall of Famer, two-time AL MVP (1946, 1949), 17-time All-Star, six-time AL batting champion, .344 career batting average, last player to hit .400 for a season (.406 in 1941)
• Ty Cobb. Hall of Famer, 1911 AL MVP, 11-time AL batting champion, .366 career batting average, 4,191 career hits
• George Brett. Hall of Famer, 1980 AL MVP, 13-time All-Star, three-time AL batting champion, .305 career batting average, 3,154 career hits
• Rod Carew. Hall of Famer, 1977 AL MVP, 18-time All-Star, seven-time AL batting champion, .328 career batting average, 3,053 career hits
• Wade Boggs. Hall of Famer, 12-time All-Star, five-time AL batting champion, .328 career batting average, 3,010 career hits

Not to mention some of today's stars:

• Jim Thome. Five-time All-Star, 2003 ML HR champion (47), 559 career homers
• Ichiro Suzuki. 2001 AL MVP, nine-time All-Star, three-time AL batting champion, five-time ML hits leader (on his way to a sixth), .333 career batting average
• Jason Giambi. 2000 AL MVP, five-time All-Star, 407 career homers
• Chase Utley. Four-time All-Star, four straight seasons of 100-plus RBIs (on his way to a fifth), .299 career batting average
• Prince Fielder. Two-time All-Star, 2007 NL home run champion (50), 140 career HRs in less than four full seasons

Shorten the Season; Pardon Pete

If I were baseball commissioner, I would ...

• Reduce the regular season to 120 games (if interleague play suffers, so be it)
• Grant a pardon to Pete Rose, provisionally lifting his lifetime ban and letting the Hall of Fame members committee decide whether he should be enshrined
• Make it a uniform rule that pants and shoes must never be touching (first offense, $10,000 fine; second offense, 15-game suspension; third offense, lifetime ban)
• Henceforth, the Home Run Derby has no more than two contestants -- the HR leader from each league -- and consists of one round (when two or more players from the same league are tied, the one with fewer at-bats gets the nod)
• Bring the kids back to the ballpark without making their parents pay. Make it a leaguewide rule (no exceptions) that all children 12 and under are admitted free to the bleachers on Saturdays and Sundays.

Tip of the Cup. Trailing by a run in the bottom of the ninth, Marlins Dan Uggla and Cody Ross belted back-to-back homers on consecutive pitches from the Cubs' Kevin Gregg to give Florida the win. A slight tip to the Yankees' Melky Cabrera for his cycle in a victory over the White Sox and a reluctant doff to the Red Sox for their 18-run, 23-hit display in keeping pace with New York.

Typical BS. Thanks to the Cubs' bullpen meltdown, it turned out to be a decent BS day. Four of 10 save situations were blown: Joe Beimel, Rockies (5); Claudio Vargas, Brewers (1); Aaron Heilman, Cubs (6); Kevin Gregg, Cubs (5).

'I Get Nowhere Unless the Team Wins'

Rumor has it the following commercial is in the works (although only for selected cable TV viewers):

• A re-creation of the Al Capone "baseball" scene from "The Untouchables," featuring A's general manager Billy Beane in Robert De Niro's stead as Capone and Oakland manager Bob Geren as the poor sap on the receiving end of Beane's ire. ...

I'll just leave it at that.

Tip of the Cup. Have a day, Andrew McCutchen. The Pittsburgh rookie treated the hometown fans to something they hadn't witnessed in 22 years: a three-homer game by one of their own. The Pirates leadoff man added a fourth hit and tied a team-high for the season with six RBIs. Abbreviated doffs to the Giants' Tim Lincecum and the Cardinals' Matt Holliday, both of whom turned in clutch performances for their playoff-contending clubs.

Save the save; invest in holds. Four of 10 save situations were squandered Saturday: Fernando Rodney, Tigers (1); Bobby Parnell, Mets (4); Kevin Gregg, Cubs (4); Greg Burke, Padres (2).

Ballyard Dreams Shattered

I once owned a Keith Hernandez model, two-tone Louisville Slugger. I begged my mom to buy it for me with the intention of using it during my senior season of high school ball. Man, I loved that bat -- it was a thing of beauty. And, as the only player with a wood bat, I would be the awe of all my teammates.

First time up with it, in a meaningless Winter League game, I cracked a double the opposite way. I discovered minutes later that I also cracked my precious lumber. Needless to say, I was devastated and my baseball career was never the same.

Trading places. Lots of action on Trade Deadline Day, too much really to go into any detail. Let's just sum it up by saying the Red Sox (C/1B Victor Martinez from Cleveland), Tigers (LHP Jarrod Washburn from Seattle) and White Sox (RHP Jake Peavy from San Diego) did OK for themselves for the stretch run. And that's what it's all about, right?

There were many more deals but none that had any significant impact for their clubs this season (I'm still trying to figure out what the Reds were thinking in going after Toronto's Scott Rolen and the same goes for the Yankees' acquisition of Jerry Hairston Jr.).

Still, with all the activity, the most anticipated trade of 2009 didn't get done -- Roy "Doc" Halladay remains a Blue Jay.

Tip of the Cup. To new Phillies ace Cliff "Lefty" Lee, whose complete-game four-hit victory over the Giants conjured memories of another great Phillies left-hander, Steve Carlton. Lee also had a couple of hits and scored a run.

Run-of-the-mill BS. Eleven save situations and only three blown -- a disappointing turnout: Kerry Wood, Indians (5); Matt Guerrier, Twins (2); Alberto Arias, Astros (2).

Down a Cup Size

It's gotten to a point where baseball's ever-expanding drug cartel no longer matters -- at least not to fans. Boston's David Ortiz is the latest to fess up, but let's face it, we may as well just concede that anyone who was anyone during that era (late 1990s to mid-2000s) used and abused and played us for suckers.

Those players made a conscious choice (although most of them didn't need the enhancement) and now they have to live with the consequences of tainted performances, numbers and reputations -- not to mention having the embarrassment of requesting a smaller certain piece of equipment (ahem).

Tip of the Cup. The Cubs delivered quite a potent 1-2 combination -- leadoff man Kosuke Fukudome and No. 2 hitter Ryan Theriot drove in four runs apiece -- in pummeling NL Central rival Houston for the second straight day. Chicago then rewarded winning pitcher Kevin Hart by shipping him to Pittsburgh for lefty relievers John Grabow and Tom Gorzelanny.

Load of BS. Five out of nine possible save situations were blown Thursday with middle relievers again dominating the blow chart ("You want good leads? Too bad; those are for closers."): Craig Breslow, A's (1); Matt Thornton, White Sox (4); Mike Gonzalez, Braves (5); Guillermo Mota, Dodgers (2); Kyle McLellan, Cardinals (2).

Finally, Freddy

OK, Giants, now you're walking the walk.

San Francisco decided to pull the trigger on a Freddy Sanchez deal today and effectively inserted itself in the NL pennant race (wake up and take notice, all you blue-blooded Manny-lovers). The Giants may have bargained away part of the future by giving up pitching prospect Tim Alderson, but it's a helluva bargain for what they're trying to achieve this season. It does, however, make the Ryan Garko trade that much more meaningless.

By the way, thanks to Matt Cain and Randy Winn, the Giants also completed a sweep of Sanchez's former club, beating the Pirates 1-0 in 10 innings.

Other gamers in the trading season include the Phillies, getting Indians lefty Cliff Lee, and the Mariners (the Mariners?), barely in the playoff hunt, getting shortstop Jack Wilson and right-hander Ian Snell from Pittsburgh.

Best Mid-Season Fire Sale: Pirates and Indians in a dead heat.

Dialing the Clone Phone. Prince Fielder is channeling Willie Stargell, no? A little bit? He's got the jelly-belly build, the one-handed follow-through, the jovial demeanor (sometimes) and delivers the long ball with frequency and style. Now all he needs is Pops' longevity and maybe -- and I do mean maybe -- he'll get his own P.O. Box in Cooperstown.

Tip of the Cup. Everything points to Rajai Davis and the A's getting a repeat tip for outslugging the Red Sox at Fenway. If Davis (3-run double) keeps it up, he'll be a prime candidate for cloning none other than Bo Jackson. An honorable tip to Cubs pitcher Randy Wells and the Chicago offense for an impressive shutout of Houston.

Bland BS. Three of nine save situations blown, two by a couple of no-name middle relievers on last-place teams: John Bale, Royals (3); Tyler Clippard, Nationals (1); Jonathan Broxton, Dodgers (3).

Grading Garko

Nothing sexy about the Giants' acquisition of Ryan Garko and nothing spectacular about his debut in San Francisco Tuesday night (0-for-4). Nonetheless, the former Stanford star is all the buzz in these parts -- mainly because it's the Giants' only move so far as the trade deadline looms.

Let's be honest, shall we? It's a nothing deal. Garko is not a significant upgrade over Travis Ishikawa at first base -- at least not on paper. Their numbers are a wash: Garko is hitting .280 with 11 homers and 39 RBIs in 79 games; Ishikawa is hitting .268 with seven homers and 30 RBIs in 72 games. Hell, they're even similar in size, although Garko's had a few big sandwiches since he weighed in at his listed 225 pounds. Really, the only difference between the two: Garko's a righty.

And now Ishikawa, young and still finding himself, suffers a setback in his development. Plus the club loses a good, young arm in Scott Barnes. The Giants did not fill a need (Where have you gone Freddy Sanchez?); they traded for the sake of trading.

Tip of the Cup. Keeping with the Bay Area theme, Oakland's Rajai Davis -- an ex-Giant -- knocked in the tying run in the ninth and the go-ahead run in the 11th to help complete the A's come-from-behind win at Boston. An abbreviated tip to White Sox lefty Mark Buehrle for retiring the first 17 Twins he faced to set an ML record of 45 consecutive batters retired.

Heavenly BS. Seeing Boston "closer" Jonathan Papelbon take it on the chin Tuesday makes up for all the recent scarcity in this department. It was Papelbon's third blown save of the season. Here are the rest (five of 12 in all): Jim Johnson, Orioles (3); Joe Smith, Indians (1); Mark Lowe, Mariners (4); Rafael Soriano, Braves (2).

Summer of Slam

Washington's Josh Willingham accomplished a feat only 12 other Major League players before him accomplished: two grand slams in a single game. The slammers seem to be coming out of the woodwork of late -- joining Willingham Monday were the Mets' Fernando Tatis and the Cubs' Alfonso Soriano, the former coming off the bench for a pinch-slam and the latter launching a 13th-inning walk-off slam.

Of course, Tatis is the same player -- and the only one in ML history -- to hit two slams in a single inning back in 1999. The unlikliest bit of trivia from that feat: one man gave up both blasts, and believe it or not, he's still pitching in the bigs today. His name? Chan Ho Park.

One more little bit of slam lore: My man Don Mattingly hit six in 1987 to set the ML single-season record, a mark equaled by Cleveland's Travis Hafner in 2006. Donnie Baseball never hit one prior to or after that.

Tip of the Cup. Gotta go with Giants ace Tim Lincecum, who fanned a career-best 15 Pirates and picked up win No. 11.

Lonely BS. Brian Fuentes, Angels (4).

Jumbo Jack with a Side of Rice

Another commercial I might not turn my back on:

• Jim Rice in his prime, say 1978, stands in against Jack from the Jack in the Box spots. With the afro and mustache prim and prominent, the Red Sox slugger pulls his helmet low over his eyes as he stares down the lanky right-hander. Cut to Jack, who's got that usual smirk on his face and is talking out loud about something irrelevant. Cut back to the plate, where Breakfast calls for the heater away. Cut back to Jack, who nods, winds and fires it belt high about two inches outside. Rice whips the bat around and lines it right back where it came from. Next thing you hear is a strange thud and a hushed crowd as the camera hones in on that smiling styrofoam head sailing toward the Green Monster. Cut to Rice eating a postgame Big Mac.

Hey, Rickey, you're so fine. Forget about the records, the mind-numbing stats and the multitude of skills. Two things about Rickey Henderson that aren't talked about enough:

1. He struck genuine fear in opposing teams -- pitchers changed the way they pitched and managers changed the way they managed when Henderson was in the lineup.
2. He made his teammates better -- especially guys like Tony Armas, Don Mattingly, Dave Winfield, Jose Canseco, Mark McGwire and Carney Lansford, most of whom were handed about 50-100 extra career RBIs on a silver platter courtesy of Rickey.

Tip of the Cup. That Philly lineup is crazy good -- they crushed the Cardinals again Sunday --and they're making a pretty fair case for convincing the front-office crew to forget about Roy Halladay. Minnesota's Justin Morneau gets mention for two dingers in helping cool down the Angels.

It's only BS if you want it to be. Two forgettable blown saves Sunday -- one was a technicality, the other was a Nationals game: Phil Coke, Yankees (4); Mike MacDougal, Nationals (1).

For Pete's Sake

As Hall of Fame day is upon us, I thought it fitting to take a few moments for reflection ... with a poem. You heard me. The following is a monosyllabic poem I wrote for a creative writing course last spring (Go ahead, laugh. But deep down, you know you're just afraid.):

Tainted Rose

Bat meets ball with a thwack
White sphere sails high toward blue sky
Run like the wind, Pete
Fans rise, clap, cheer
As you round first base
Off the wall skips the ball
Don’t stop, you’ll make it to third
Hard comes the throw, fast and low
But you’re safe with a dive
Stand up, dust off, wave to the crowd
They love you still, Pete
How can they not?

You are a god to them
Lord Rose, the Hit King
On your way to the Hall
Just tell the truth, Pete
You had time to kill
You had cash to spend
One bet will do no harm
But then it’s two, three, four, more
You’re weak, you can’t stop
Now the game and your fame
Have been shamed, Lord Rose
Run, while the ball is still in the air

Tip of the Cup. Just as the play-by-play man finished spouting " ... a big, fat goose egg with the bases loaded this year," Philadelphia's Jimmy Rollins turned on a Jason Motte fastball to hit his second career grand slam and lead the Phillies to a rout of St. Louis. An abbreviated tip to the Tampa Bay Rays for their comeback from an eight-run deficit to beat Toronto. (Those of you wondering why Washington's Adam Dunn gets no tip for his slam against San Diego, I have two words: Nobody cares.)

Deja Vu BS. Four of eight save situations were blown Saturday, two coming from familiar AL culprits: Scott Downs, Blue Jays (3); Bobby Jenks, White Sox (4); Jason Motte, Phillies (3); Kiko Calero, Marlins (1).

Paid Holliday

Heard some radio motormouth say the Cardinals got Matt Holliday to protect Albert Pujols. Huh? Dude's putting up Triple Crown numbers (.328 BA, 34 HRs, 90 RBIs) and he needs protection?

Regardless, Holliday is a definite upgrade over Chris Duncan, who was dealt to Boston earlier in the week and immediately shipped to Triple-A. Not a bad deal for the A's either, throwing in the towel (along with a few million dollars of Holliday's salary) to get two first-rounders and a second-rounder.

Tip of the Cup. The Yankees won their eighth straight, Giants starter Matt Cain won his 12th and Holliday wasted no time in contributing to the Cards' playoff push with a 4-for-5 debut.

A sigh of relief. Six save situations Friday, and not a one blown.

Spoiler?

All this talk about perfect games brings back memories of the time I once broke up a perfect game. ...

OK, so it was my own perfect game. ...

And it was bowling.

'Perfect. Just Perfect.'

Congrats to Mark Buehrle blah, blah, blah, blah ...

Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy blah, blah, blah, blah ...

Only the 18th perfect game in history blah, blah, blah, blah ...

Sorry. There's really not much more to be said. Except ...

I hope Buehrle plans on buying manager Ozzie Guillen and replacement center fielder Dewayne Wise a case of beer each, because Scott Podsednik -- no disrespect -- just doesn't have the height or the hops to get to that ball hit by Gabe Kapler. Ozzie made the move (disregarding proper perfect-game protocol), Wise made the grab, and the rest is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Tip of the Cup. Who else? But let's at least acknowledge Buehrle's catcher Ramon Castro here with an honorary tip (you know, just a quick, two-finger pinch).

Short on BS. Rain. Travel day. Those pesky perfect games. Whatever the reason, only four save situations Thursday and one blown: Joe Nathan, Minnesota (3).

The King and Mr. Z

As much as I despise TV commercials, here's one I might sit for:

• The King, from the Burger King spots, steps in against the Cubs' Carlos Zambrano and flashes that s***-eating grin. Next thing you know, he's taking one off the crown and he's got dirt all over his nice robe and that plastic beard. Cut to Zambrano, who -- being Zambrano -- has taken a few steps toward the plate and is holding his arms out in a challenging fashion. Cut back to the King, who slowly gets up -- still smiling -- calmly dusts himself off, takes pause to gauge the situation and then charges the mound ... to be continued

Rally-killer. The Oakland A's were hardly short on production in their 16-1 walloping of Minnesota -- with one exception: First baseman Daric Barton was hitless in four ABs and stranded eight runners.

Tip of the Cup. As much as I hate to do it, I can't ignore Manny Ramirez's heroics coming off the Dodgers' bench a day after stopping a fastball with his bare hand. His pinch-hit grand slam in the sixth beats the Reds. The kicker: It was Manny Bobblehead Night at Dodger Stadium. Dammitall.

More BS. My old man's favorite part of the game to critique (besides the commentary of Giants' TV analyst Mike Krukow -- but that's another post for another time). Four of 13 possible save situations were blown Wednesday: Bobby Seay, Detroit (4); Roman Colon, Kansas City (2); Dan Wheeler, Tampa Bay (4); Ryan Franklin, St. Louis (2). Closer, schmoser, as Dad likes to say.

Side note. The Yanks are now two up on Boston in the AL East.

One for the Team

Yes, the lovely Ms. Milano and all her fellow Dodger faithful are breathing a sigh of relief today knowing that the X-rays on Manny Ramirez's left hand were negative and he won't be taking another 50-game sabbatical. Funny, though, how his teammates didn't seem to miss him so much. (Maybe now Manny will have more time to contemplate his hair donation to the Superstars Tug-of-War competition.)

Dialing the Clone Phone: I can't get over how much the Yankees' Robinson Cano looks like Rod Carew. He's got the stance and the swing down pat. He could get the average up (.308 through Tuesday) with a few more slaps and dinks to left field. Then it would just be a matter of stealing home every other year. It could happen.

Take a Bow, Rook

A Tip of the Cup. To Texas rookie pitcher Tommy Hunter for handcuffing the Red Sox (while the Yankees quietly took the AL East lead), and, reluctantly, to Jayson Werth for his 13th-inning, game-ending dinger against the Cubs to push the Phillies' win streak into double-digits. (Regardless, I'm sticking with the Cubbies as my pick in the NL.)

Always Be Closing. A relatively slow night in the bullpen meltdown department. Tuesday's blown saves: Scott Downs, Blue Jays (2); Bobby Jenks, White Sox (3); Franklin Morales, Rockies (1).

Speaking of meltdowns. An honorary doff to my 4-year-old son for persuading his mother to play a Thomas the Tank Engine video so I didn't have to witness the Giants getting spanked in Atlanta.

Wild Card Race?

Memo. To those insistent on posting or talking about the wild-card race in July: Please. At this point in the season, all teams are still in contention (with the possible exception of Washington). Discussing the wild-card standings just because your team happens to be at or near the top -- with 70 games still to play -- is embarrassing and insulting.

Sorry. I got a little preachy there. But something had to be said. By the way, the Yankees and the Giants -- my teams -- are among the wild-card leaders. Yes!

July Call-Up

I know, I know. It's a weird time of year to start paying attention to baseball. But I'm American, and I kinda like it here, and I like baseball, too. So what the hell.

I once caught a foul ball off the bat of Orlando Merced. Of course, being that it was at Candlestick Park on a weeknight against the Pirates, I had little choice. (The drunk guy behind me started chanting, "Throw it back. Throw it back.") True story.

I played baseball for about 13 years -- from Little League straight on up to JC ball -- and never wore a cup. Today, I have three kids. Dumb luck, I guess.

I'll be back ...